That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
