i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need to calm my uterus...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
