We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
