New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
