You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
