is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
