I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
