We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
