This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize