you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
