So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
why is half of my head shaved?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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