Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
