What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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