I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
