He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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