I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
