Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
