well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
