and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
