ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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