I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
