And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
