She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize