So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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