just tell him i said nine months
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
