at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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