Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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