these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
