Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
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