I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He better not be in your backpack
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
