News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
