at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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