You work out of a Hotel?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
