People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
