He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
They have beer where we have blood.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize