Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
