Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We have started to decorate penises.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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