The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
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