Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize