i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
