so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
i now understand why vodka
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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