how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
