1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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