She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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