she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
