with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
