Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
