She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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