we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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