I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
