Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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