He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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