sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
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and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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