Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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