Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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