Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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