At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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