so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
There are leaves in my underwear?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
